Illusions

Sometimes even the sincerest sentiment is concealed



(Are they of the same length to you?)




Deceiving our own perception of friendship




It is only the giver who knows
what is true to her heart




And it is mostly the recipient who refuses to see



That beyond the smiles and laughter of a friend is an awareness



That a drowning man can not save a fellow drowning man



That scratching my own wound won't in any way heal your own


Hence, although as bruised as you are





I try....






I swim ....






I float....






I crawl....






I get up....



And trick myself
that pain is just an illusion



I seek no advice



For I follow the beat of my own drum


Secrets remain unspilled



But I cut open my fresh wounds



And blood is everywhere



With the same tears I bathed in



I will wipe it all for you



For if true friendship was there



The intent to hurt would be the last interpretation that will come to mind



The illusion of somebody wanting to hurt us at times



Mimics our own subconscious desire



Of the pain we want to inflict to others



It is the camouflage our weary heart put on



*Stick insect is what it is called. This particular type of insect mimics his environment to protect itself from predators . It has mastered the art of camouflage. It blends itself in the environment that one can not almost notice it unless you have an eye of a hawk.


To protect our own selves from possible pain



So maybe, friendship wasn't there at all


Hence, I will retreat in silence




Thinking that



I should have just said everything but nothing



Until forgiven is granted



Until friendship is restored


Even if the illusion of it


Is all I deserve


Or nothing at all.


Love me or leave me.